Emotional Healing: Messages from our Body, Nature, Pets, and Dreams
In November 2018, Doug and I led our client, Anna, through her first Private Healing Immersion in Costa Rica. Anna is a heart-warrior who is trusting and willing. During her Private Healing Immersion, the three of us dove deep together and she experienced profound shifts. After her Immersion, with her creativity renewed, Anna stepped more into her True Self and began visioning her life in a way she hadn’t been able to before. Now, 9 months later, Anna has uncovered some painful triggers with her mother, and was clearly feeling the limits in her work and home life. To get support with this, Anna came to us for a second Private Immersion. *Remember, emotional healing is a process that happens over time, there are layers and different issues that come up for us to heal and clear at different points in our lives. Here’s how Anna arrived and some of the takeaways from this second Immersion experience…
Before Anna arrived, I pulled a TAO Oracle card for her: Inner Truth. Because she is so connected to nature, and because of the very special magic of this part of Costa Rica, many of the messages that came to her during the day were from a wasp, both a small and a large spider, a moth, a bat, a bird named the Great Kiskadee, and her dog. (The messages these insects and animals represent, along with the messages Anna received from her body, are provided below.)
Listen to your feelings, don’t tap them away… In the week prior to the second Immersion, Anna stayed with her parents for a few days and her mother triggered her causing her to spend the night crying in bed. She told me about it the next day and said that she wanted to learn EFT to tap the feelings away and have peace. Even after working with me for a year, she forgot that her trigger was a healing opportunity. An old wound and pattern was showing up for her to heal. I shared my insight about the source of her trigger and how it’s affecting her now. She had not been able to manifest what she wants because deep down she doesn’t think she can have it. As a child she wasn’t allowed to have what she wanted. Back then, and now, her mom hasn’t listened to her and doesn’t see or respect who she is, so she doesn’t feel valuable. Anna had disconnected from herself because her inner child’s feelings (her truth) were rejected. As a result, she didn’t listen to herself and was still looking to her mother to take care of her, a pattern at the core of codependency. I was also picking up that when she was around her mother she disappeared or was in fear. When I shared that with Anna, she said she noticed the same thing would happen to her dog when he was staying with her mother. Toward the end of our day of processing and untangling her from her mother’s web. She went on to tell us how her inner child was feeling alone and scared. Anna was also scared that she may lose the connection with her inner child after the Immersion. Then Doug, as he often does, noticed her body communicating with one hand holding the other, which was in a fist over her heart. Focusing on this, we then engaged in an experiential process and helped her integrate her adaptive and false self (the one who was exhausted, working hard, and listening to others for her life direction) and her inner child’s needs and feelings. After that process Doug drummed at sunset as I helped her connect and ground in her body with her hands on her stomach (where she felt blocked in the beginning), and her body relaxed.Because Anna was able to receive and process the messages her physical symptoms were sending to her during the Immersion, she no longer suffers from them. She is now listening to her true feelings, wants, and needs as her source of direction in life, with confidence and compassion. Below are some of the detailed symptoms Anna experienced, in her own words, accompanied by the message that was intended. These include messages from her body, nature, dog, and a dream…
Your symptoms are a gift! Recognize the gift of your physical symptoms and the messages they have for you…
Referencing Messages from the Body – Their Psychological Meaning by Michael J. Lincoln, Ph.D., here is what we learned about Anna’s physical symptoms… After leaving her parents house, a rash flared up on her hands and above her knees again after eating cheese, and the time before that was when she ate cheese at her boyfriend’s parents’ house, and his parents are very similar to her own.Anna: “My mother and stepfather have a habit of calling and addressing me as “child” and this is how I feel they treat me most of the time. Just before the Immersion, we had a big argument about world politics at the dinner table, and I ate some homemade pesto.
My mother started a serious conversation, but her statements had nothing to do with historical facts and were mostly based on mass media and rumors. It sounded so ridiculously irrational that I couldn’t sit and listen any longer. I gently but obviously pointed out that my mother was expressing her personal subjective opinion and treating it as truthful fact and presented the historical evidence. My stepfather exploded, left the table and called me a crazy nationalist similar to Trump and that the world will never have peace because of people like us. My jaw dropped because nothing that I said would lead to such a conclusion. But I was shut down because it is not OK for the “child” to be smarter than the parents. My mother was trying to restore peace by changing the subject and asking “Who wants ice cream?”, and saying that I’ll have the honor to serve it. My jaw dropped for a second second time because I felt exactly like I did in my childhood, when I was sent away from the table if I disagreed with the adults or was smarter than they are. I felt I was back in my childhood when peace was restored with ice cream, fake smiles, and hugs that I didn’t want, rather than apologies and admitting that I was right. I felt like a lonely outcast that wasn’t understood and was sent away if I disobey. The next day my lower right leg was covered in allergic rash.”
Click here to read the message of Anna’s dairy reaction
From Allergies and Aversions – Their Psychological Meaning
Dairy: “Unfit for human consumption.” They are prone to have the experience that they are somehow “tainted” and “unacceptable.” It arises from early maternal ambivalence, overwhelm, unavailability or other events that had the effect of conveying that they are in some way “intolerable.”“Alone on their own.” They are apt to be manifesting life-rejection and other “negative mother” impact effects. Their attitude tends to be that they can’t trust anyone to do anything for them. They are likely to be convinced at some level that the Universe does not intend to sustain or support them. Underneath all this is a belief that the Universe shouldn’t, because they somehow don’t deserve it. It is the result of being “abandoned at an early age” by their neglectful and/or rejecting mother, resulting in a strong underlying fear of God.”
Towards the end of our process during the Immersion, Anna’s right shoulder started to hurt just as we were talking about how she learned to take care of herself and how she can better take care of true needs now.Anna: “I had a problem with my right shoulder for the past 2-3 months when I was working practically non-stop, without breaks and days off. I was sacrificing many of my regular spiritual practices and my alone time in nature to accommodate to my living situation, my boyfriend, and the growing demands of my business. It was so bad that I had to see a chiropractor who told me that I need to relax my “grip” and work less. I noticed that my shoulder hurts more when I am asked to do more than I can handle or what I don’t want to do, but “must” do.”
Click here to read the message of Anna’s shoulder pain
From Messages from the Body – Their Psychological Meaning:Right Shoulder Problems: They are constantly concerned about letting those who depend on them down if they take care of their own needs. They are taking the role of being the “behind-the-scenes hero(ine)” over-responsible, underappreciated, and hyper-accountable. They are very work- and responsibility-oriented. They found out early on that if they didn’t handle things, nobody would, and all hell would result.”
The week after Anna’s Immersion… Anna saw a friend after her Immersion and again experienced a rash flare-up on her right leg. Anna: “The allergy rash flared up when I had lunch with my friend who was a very supportive and almost “motherly” caring figure when I had just moved to Costa Rica. But unfortunately, just like my mother, she couldn’t see and appreciate who I am. She was offering me support and business ideas but didn’t ask me at all about what I want and how she can support what I want. She also gave me some furniture and things for my business and then suddenly asked for them back, repeating the pattern of “give and take-back,” which I have with my mother.”
Click here to read the message of Anna’s rash and lower leg problems
From Messages from the Body – Their Psychological Meaning:Rashes: “Roughed up.” They feel that they are being rubbed the wrong way. There is a sense of being attacked, a fear of harm, and an abiding insecurity. They are the product of a wrong-making yet sex-ploitative family, especially by their mother.They were not allowed to differentiate and individuate as a child, and they are still symbiotically attached to the “tie that grinds” with their mother, mother-substitutes, and mother stand-ins.“Unfit for human consumption.” They are plagued by embarrassment and shame for who they are. There is considerable guilt about their feelings, intentions, motivations, actions or thoughts. It is the result of having been made to feel “bad, wrong and evil” for having wants, needs and desires as a child. (See the affected area(s) for more information)”Lower Leg Problems: “Stuck in childhood.” They are afraid of the future, and they don’t want to move on or to move up and out. Their manifestation is one of being a perpetual child or adolescent who needs others to take care of them and to handle the responsibilities of being a human being in the world.”
After returning from her Immersion, Anna’s body was communicating how she was really feeling (that she was unaware of) and what she needed when she spoke to certain people in her life.Anna: “I was on the phone, finally sharing my deeper truth to my boyfriend and sat in a very uncomfortable pose in a chair that I hate, a chair that my mother put on my balcony while I was gone. After we hung up I got up and I felt that my mid-back and one of my right ribs went out of alignment.”
Click here to read the message of Anna’s rib problems
From Messages from the Body – Their Psychological Meaning:Rib Problems; Rib Cage Problems: “Vulnerability-anxiety.” They are feeling unprotected, fragile, and open to attack. They have a deep sense of insecurity, of a lack of control over their life, and of helpless exposure, with a profound sense of vulnerability at a core level. There is deprivation-expectation and separation- and abandonment-anxiety. It arises from a self-immersed and possessive parenting pattern in which they were subjected to lack of consideration of their needs, threats of abandonment, demands that they conform totally to the parent(s) expectations and systematic subconscious, subterranean and subtle programming to never succeed in the world or in relationships. There was also the injunction that went, “If we can’t have you, then you will end up alone, alienated, and totally deprived.”Right Ribs: “Down and out.” They have fears or manifestations of self-sabotage.
Anna realized that most of her past friendships with women were reflecting her relationship with her mother, and they weren’t really supporting her.Anna:“Another message from my body happened when I lost my voice while hanging out with one of my ‘friends’, who is a type of person that gives advice and expresses her opinion without me asking for it. After sharing my plans for the future, she told me that my vision is wrong and planted a seed of doubt in me in regards to my ability to make the right decisions.”
Click here to read the message of Anna’s voice problems
From Messages from the Body – Their Psychological Meaning:Laryngitis: “There is a fear of speaking up, and they are afraid to ask for what they want because they are sure it would be withheld or used against them. There is also a fear of expressing themselves and of not being able to answer questions, criticisms and/or attacks. They weren’t allowed to have wants, needs or desires, they weren’t allowed to speak up and/or have impact, and they weren’t heard or respected as a child.”
Be open to the messages that come from nature and explore their meanings… When we first sat down to talk about Anna’s process, and about the card I pulled for her, a wasp wouldn’t leave her alone so we looked up the message from wasp1…
Wasp is letting you know that resistance to change is by definition self sabotage. It’s time to allow yourself the notion that all things are possible, and that you deserve to have all your dreams come true. Be the best you can be!
Then there was a little spider around, first on me, and then it was on Doug’s hand, so we started to talk about the meaning of spiders as they relate to the invasive mother. Shortly after that I told Anna that she could use our yellow guest bedroom for the bathroom and any time she needed. When she got to the bedroom door, there was a huge yellow spider and web blocking the door, and only the door. This represented her mom (spider) blocking her space and her path. We didn’t use that room all day and ended up spending the day untangling Anna from “her mother’s web.”
Towards the end of the process we were talking about her taking care of herself, going for what she wanted – which may include moving out of her boyfriend’s house and into her own space so she can have the space she needs for her work while being in a location that feels good.
We also talked about how she needs to create stronger boundaries with her mom. It became clear that her boyfriend is engaging in the same pattern as mom: They both are needy, and do not consider what’s best for Anna. When she is around them, she feels disconnected and blocked. We were talking about how she can ask for what she wants and she said she didn’t want to be rude and disappoint them.
During that time a Great Kiskadee (a beautiful yellow and black bird) started speaking loudly right behind us. Below is the message from the Kiskadee…
What are you waiting for? You should get going on projects you may have set aside or that are in the background. The Kiskadee encourages you to take a shot, try, leap and go for it!
The worst thing you can do is to sit around and wait for yes answers, for the approval of others. For the consistency of other folks’ and their loyalty. Bring in the reigns and take back control of your own decisions. Everything in your life will begin to fall into place: Bills, finances, business, independence, material gains, personal concerns..etc, whenever you decide that you are dependent upon yourself first.The Kiskadee is a reminder that, you cannot live your life to the fullest being concerned with how others feel, worried of their judgment, opinions or what not! You are an individual and at one with yourself, you cannot live out the lives of others. It is safe to offer your support, guidance or lack thereof, but we each must carry our own burdens. Do not carry the weight of the world. Nor that of which of those who shouldn’t matter as much.2
Later that same day, a moth appeared at night in Anna’s room, though all screens were closed.
The moth spirit animal is associated with faith. Not the blind kind of faith, but the faith that is born out of the confidence that something is possible. This moth spirit guide encourages you to embrace your personality, telling you to be proud of who you are, and that you are not be shaken by people’s perception of you. The moth spirit totem wants you to be true to yourself. People with this spirit do not bother about appearances.The moth is an expert in concealment. But, it discourages you from hiding the person you truly are. When this spirit guide is your totem, you are not afraid to let the world know who you are. In this manner, you are able to weed out false friends from your life.3
Another important messenger that came was a woodpecker4.
This spirit animal wants to re-open your quest for the truth. This totem understands your need to protect the weak and the vulnerable. As such, it gives you the power to be creative as well as innovative. When you combine these with your thirst for truth, you simply become unstoppable.
You don’t stop until you have accomplished your goals. Additionally, the woodpecker comes into your life to open your mind’s eyes to the opportunities that are passing you by. Your life has a lot of magic, but you are not making good use of it. The woodpecker comes to encourage you to be more open to such opportunities.
And one more message from a bat: Anna: “A bat appeared multiple times and hung on the mosquito screen of the window next to my computer desk. He always appears when it is time to do some shadow work. This time I put aside everything, business and personal life, to dive deeply and fully to meet my shadow (what I had been denying).”
The bat symbolism5, in this case, is almost always putting you on notice of a significant change in your life. Explicitly, you are being asked to pay attention to the signs that are surrounding you. In this case, these clues could be physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. Bat symbolism signifies the death of some part of you that no longer serves your higher calling. Therefore, follow through on new ideas, hunches and even emotions that are unfamiliar to you. In essence, this change may be somewhat painful if you forestall it. However, be aware that if you embrace it, the universe will make every attempt to make these changes as easy as possible for you.
Like Anna, you may even receive messages from your pets… Anna’s mother was treating her dog the same way as she treated Anna as a child. Anna, Doug, and I all noticed her responses to her dog, which helped her see how her inner child felt and how she was treating herself (like her mother treated her) and her dog, and what she needed.
Anna: “My dog is a messenger and I clearly see my childhood and recent life in him. I adopted him at a time that I had to ask my mother permission because I was living in our shared house. This is a repetition from childhood, when I had to ask permission for literally everything. The dog could stay but my step-father insisted on renaming him because he refused to call him Drako (Dragon). My mother insisted on renaming him too, in her opinion, to shift the dog from painful memories associated with the past. So the dog was “castrated”, his name as a symbol of power was taken away.
I, too, was “renamed” many times, as my mother was calling me by different nicknames. I asked my mother to call me by my real name last year when I was already doing a lot of deep psychological work.
My dog is very friendly, explorative and loving, but sometimes he becomes very needy and dependent, he won’t go explore until I go with him and show him how to, as he needs me all the time to make sure everything he does is okay. My dog is either super rebellious and runs away to chase wildlife, putting his life in danger, or is too dependent and needs me to tell him what to do, like he lost his free will. I am crying writing these words, because this is so ME.
My dog has unhealthy food motivations and becomes completely irrational, neurotic, and protective around food, just like me. I had emotional eating problems and a sense that there is not enough food for most of my life. He is also allergic to grains, to pollen, and mosquito bites, his skin is very sensitive.
My dog is also in “suitcase” mode, he doesn’t have a sense of home, he is not comfortable to claim the whole house, he just stays on his bed. He was “abandoned” all his life: first having several foster homes and now having to stay with my mother, who’s method is: “Be a good dog, obey the rules, do as you are told and never show your teeth. Everybody bows to mother.”
I didn’t notice all those patterns until the recent session with Elicia and Doug and now I understand my dog, his needs, and know what to do to heal his heart and psyche. After being able to see those patterns, I made my dog a flower essence blend to address his trauma and made a priority to bring him back to the US to live with me.”
Dreams are messages (accurate intuitive readings) from our unconscious…
Anna:“A week after the Immersion, I vividly remember one dream, in which I was all set and packed to go on a trip to Argentina. I had a printout of my tickets with my flight departing after 3pm. I had all my bags packed and was hanging out with some people from my past in the Moscow apartment of my best friend and classmate. Suddenly, my boyfriend walked in and I realized that I didn’t even tell him that I am leaving. I invited him to join me and he quickly arranged to get his airplane ticket on the same flight.
After some dream activity, it was time to get going to the airport. I was looking at the ticket printout, but couldn’t find the departure time. I remember seeing the flight number, it was DL 38. I finally found that the departure flight, but it changed. Now it said 1:48pm and at 3pm was our connection flight, so it turned out that we missed the flight. Everyone was shocked and looking at me in the shock of how could I be so disorganized and make such a mistake. I knew that I didn’t make a mistake, but couldn’t prove anything. After the hassle stopped, I thought that it wasn’t that big of a deal after all, and that I didn’t actually want to go to Argentina in the first place. I started searching on my laptop for other destinations where I could afford to go.After sharing that I had a significant dream, Doug offered a dream interpretation session, which was pretty phenomenal and very symbolic! The dream interpretation showed me that I’ve been accommodating other people, and stopped from going on a journey. The trip in the dream is a symbol of the search for myself and the symbolic flight number that I remember had numbers 3 and 8. I am currently 38 years old, and 3 plus 8 equals 11, which in numerology represents a transmutation of our power to a higher, more spiritual level. Master Number 11 is associated with spiritual illumination and our ‘inner teacher’.6 In the dream, I missed the connecting flight, as Doug puts it, the connection with my “inner teacher” and realization of who I am and what I truly want on the deepest level.
The apartment of my childhood friend was a representation of a safe place where I once felt happy, welcomed, and at home. Our families were friends and my parents and I often visited this apartment, but never allowed me to stay there overnight. My parents were on the edge of a divorce at that time and the tension between them made such a dramatic contrast with the deep love of my friend’s parents. Also interesting, my parents finally separated and got divorced when I was 11.The symbolism and message from the dream is empowering. I feel and know that I need time and space to go on a very important journey of self-discovery that will be based on my recognition of these patterns. The journey of sorting everything and detecting true and false in every aspect of my life. I need to reconnect with myself on a level that isn’t distorted by family and society, inhibiting my individuality and tricking me that my dreams are impossible and my needs are not important. I am learning to guard my boundaries from the influence of others who want me to change my path to include them by accommodating their needs or saving them, at my expense.”
Here’s how Anna summarized her second Immersion…
“I was stuck in something sticky and suffocating, which was blocking my inner truth and preventing me from using my gifts on full volume. Like a butterfly in a spider web. I was choking on my words and I couldn’t speak my truth because others tricked me into a belief that my truth is not acceptable or that it may hurt other people’s feelings and they will reject and abandon me. I was under a false impression infused in me by my family: that I can’t trust people, that the world is not safe, that money is earned with sweat and blood, and that everything can be taken from you at any moment. But deep inside I knew that the world is huge and beautiful and that I have wings to fly, to be free and embrace life and my uniqueness fully. Not to be stuck in survival mode. My second Private Immersion with Elicia & Doug allowed me to see deeply into who I truly am and to reconnect with my inner knowing and truth. And after I reconnected, there was no turning back. Two days later, it was painfully hard but I spoke the truth about my needs to my boyfriend and made amends to recent agreements I made in which I sacrificed my needs to convenience him, his family, and my own family. After speaking the truth to my boyfriend, a huge burden lifted from my heart. Instead of drama and rejection, I received support and understanding and our communication moved to a new level of intimacy. The stagnant part of my life that looked like a “dead-end’ suddenly moved forward, offering completely new and unexpected solutions!It’s hard to speak the truth, when you were always silenced by authority figures. But it is getting easier and easier with every word that comes out of my mouth. Speaking my truth brought the most liberating feeling I ever had and for the first time I love the sound of my voice. I feel like the old tight container cracked and I am free to spread my wings, to be who I am born to be and fully embrace my path. (Since the Immersion, Howler Monkeys, one of the loudest animals on earth, have been unusually vocal around Anna’s house, supporting her to loudly speak her truth.)
The day with Elicia & Doug allowed me to reconnect with my inner child in a new and even deeper way, I was able to see the truth of my needs. It suddenly became clear who I am and what I want. This knowledge allowed me to see all the options and possibilities and how they align with my own needs and desires. I saw the reason behind my fears. Fears that actually belonged to my mother who used me as a shield or a “minesweeper” to interact with the world. Her fears and overprotection paralyzed my will with a chronic fear of failure, but now I have the confidence and ability to explore the world and learn from mistakes. As a child, I was trained to question my truth, wants, needs, and choices, always checking them with mother’s approval. At the end of the Immersion, we established a clear communication language between my inner child and my inner adult to check on my needs. I now know how to test any option to be in alignment with my authentic needs, and I have a daily practice to check-in with my inner child. Reconnecting with my True Self is an indescribable feeling of power, freedom, joy – as if I am high on life itself.”
Core Emotional Healing is a process, not a connection that happens once and you are “done”. Because we were all subjected to repeated ignoring of our true selves and needs, in different ways, there are multiple connections and different ages – of our inner child – to which we must reconnect. In fact, it is our problematic and limiting patterns, e.g., triggers, frustrating relationships, lack of success, that when skillfully traced to their source, can bring us to the aspect of our inner child needed to resolve those very issues. This only happens with a tremendous focus on self-awareness, and nearly always with outside support. During the times that you are doing this type of healing work, it is best to maintain the belief that there are undiscovered aspects of your inner child from which you have been separated, parts of yourself that are waiting to be loved, appreciated, and reunited. So often, the patterns that cause the most problems and are “running the show”, are so unconscious and defended that you cannot see them yourself. Because of this, you aren’t able to see what you need, nor to heal through only a book or by yourself. We all need someone to help us see how we are actually living, to see through the illusion that our minds create that keep us stuck – the protective patterns we used to avoid being hurt like we were in childhood.
My husband, Doug, sometimes describes self-knowledge as being like a trip through a “Hall of Mirrors”, full of distortions and tricks that we unknowingly use to protect ourselves. Until you find your way to the undistorted mirror, a reflection from someone supportive who sees you clearly.
Then, you can find the unmet need, the unaccepted part of yourself, the mistreatment, etc… that created the false and protected self that is actually the source of your problems and lack of fulfillment. The healing involves giving yourself what you always needed in a way that ensures you actually receive it, and in doing so, you receive the long-lost authentic aspects of yourself. Once that happens, the unconscious and problematic pattern/adaptation is no longer necessary, as it is replaced with a pattern that actually serves all of who you are, and those you love.
Here are a couple ways we can help you connect with your inner child, tap into the root causes of your symptoms, and finally begin to live a supported, authentic life…
The Core Emotional Healing Self Study Online Course
The Core Emotional Healing process was developed from the culmination of 10 years of intensive training, my own personal healing, empathic intuitive gifts, and working with clients privately, in group programs online, and in retreats.
And now, this process is available to you in the form of a guided, step-by-step self study program that addresses the emotional root cause of symptoms and suffering.
The CEH Self Study includes lessons on the five key steps in the Core Emotional Healing® Process in video and audio format, making it easy for you to utilize the lessons on-the-go. The program also includes Inner Parenting Guides for each of the five key steps to give your inner child the support he or she needs as you go through the program. AND you’ll also get downloadable worksheets and workbooks to make sure you take action!
In-Person Private Healing Immersion in Costa Rica with me & Doug
During a Private Immersion, we will help you identify and heal the real root causes of your issues including: your personal history, your family’s history, emotional and energetic blocks, limiting beliefs about the world and yourself, and the ways you learned to cope that are no longer serving you.
3-Month Core Emotional Healing Online Private Program with me
If Costa Rica isn’t an option for you right now, and you’d still like to get personal support and to be guided through your healing process, I have space in my 3-Month Core Emotional Healing Online Private Program. The program includes an Inner Child Session, 5 45-minute one-on-one calls with me, and weekly check-in emails. You’ll also get access to the CEH Self Study and the CEH Support Group.
If you’d like to experience what Anna did – “an indescribable feeling of power, freedom, joy – as if I am high on life itself” – give yourself (and your inner child) the gift of one or all of the special offers above.
Sending you so much love,
1. Source: https://www.spirit-animals.com/wasp
2. Source: https://quornesha.com/2017/07/25/great-kiskadee-symbolic-meaning
3. Source: https://thesecretofthetarot.com/moth-spirit-animal
4. Source: https://thesecretofthetarot.com/woodpecker-spirit-animal
5. Source: https://www.spirit-animals.com/bat-symbolism