Emotional Healing Happens a Little at a Time
Emotional healing takes a lot of persistence while dealing with resistance and denial. These defensive reactions are so strong in our psyche and culture. This is a major reason that change is an ongoing process for us all and why change often happens a little at a time.
Many of my clients touch their pain and pull back into their usual patterns. Many end up going deeper with me a year or even several years later…
When we begin to address our emotional wounds, it can trigger our natural fight-or-flight response. Going deep to bring up painful memories and unpacking the traumatic experiences that cause our physical symptoms, our relationship patterns, and our self-doubt, is often scary.
When facing our wounds, our resistance and denial are protecting us from our pain, but they also keep us entrenched in the old patterns that cause our problems; patterns that kept us safe when we were young and are undermining us now, as adults.
Once you acknowledge that there is a deeper cause to your symptoms and patterns, it is easier to see your resistance and to work through it and heal. You have a choice. You are in control.
Your resistance comes from a fear that is no longer real and began as a child’s response to a challenging situation. There is nothing to be afraid of, what you experienced is not happening anymore. Though you may initially feel afraid, feeling your feelings will actually help you feel safe. Once you allow yourself to feel deeply, you will reclaim your personal power.
Resistance can show up in a lot of different ways and you may tell yourself:
I don’t have time.
I can’t afford it.
I’m just not ready.
It’s not that bad.
I can handle this on my own.
This process is going to take too long.
I’ve already tried everything, nothing is going to work.
And you may rely on things solely outside of yourself to heal you.
Isn’t your healing worthy of your time?
What are you spending money on now that you don't really need?
When will it be enough? What does “ready” look like?
What do you prioritize over your inner child?
Why aren’t you allowing yourself to accept the support that is available to you? (This video may help.)
When you embrace the journey and address things as they arise, you will find that your life will get better and better.
Other therapies and approaches got you to this point, now Core Emotional Healing will fill in the missing pieces.
Because you are important and valuable, I want to invite you to reflect on these things…
Grab a pen and paper
Start by listing out your symptoms on the left side of a piece of paper.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Disordered, restrictive, and/or emotional eating
- Candida, digestive problems, autoimmune, and other chronic symptoms
- Not pursuing what you really want
- Confusion or lack of confidence
- Relationship patterns - not feeling seen or supported, but continuing to support others (codependency)
- Easily hurt and triggered by your family
- Struggling with lack of money and/or lack of fulfillment in your career
- Addictive and compulsive behaviors
- Anxiety, depression, insomnia, etc.
Next, on the right side of the paper, write out what you really want.
This may be:
- To feel free to eat what you want without guilt
- To be free of your physical symptoms
- To pursue your dreams
- To feel strong and confident in your truth
- To have healthy relationships in which you feel loved and supported
- To be present with your needs and the needs of your kids, partner, etc.
- To find work that fuels your passion and makes you feel fulfilled and abundant
- To find freedom from the addiction(s) that have been controlling you for so long
- To feel empowered with your emotions and use them as your guidance system
After you review your two lists, write what your life is like now and what it is costing you (time, energy, and money) to stay where you are.
Then, below that, answer these questions:
- Why am I waiting?
- What has to happen for me to make the changes necessary to experience the life I want and deserve?
- How can I make it happen?
- How much do I spend on my hair, nails, supplements, treatments, shopping… and are these a bandaid to how I really feel inside?
- What do I value?
Everything you want is on the other side of your resistance.
If you’re ready to break through the resistance, begin healing, and see what is possible when you find freedom from your symptoms and patterns, my Core Emotional Healing Self Study Program is an affordable way to go through the steps to begin healing the root cause. You can also add on my CEH Support Group to have access to my personal insight and guidance on an ongoing basis to ensure you get the support you need throughout the process.
Embrace the journey, don’t give up. You are worth it and you deserve it.
Sending you so much love,