Healing Turning Points: Asthma, Bulimia, Body Image
This post is the second in a series called Healing Turning Points: Transforming Pain into Self-Love. The purpose of this series is to show you that you are not alone, that others have experienced the same pains you have, and that there is a path to healing.
You can catch up with all installments of the Healing Turning Points series below:
Part 9: Depression, Anxiety, and Skin Issues
Healing our emotional wounds is a journey that is unique for each person and full of twists and turns, as well as surprising realizations.
While we can be mostly healed from our past, our growth continues and as we grow, different aspects of ourselves are brought to light. This can bring up new aspects of early wounds. This is just a natural part of the healing process.
But one thing that is true for me, and has been for all the people I’ve helped, is that you never forget that point - the point in your life when you finally said, “ENOUGH!”
I call this the “Healing Turning Point”.
We get to our Healing Turning Point in our own time, some people suffer longer than others before deciding to seek the help they need, but eventually, we all experience that moment when we know something has to change.
Today, my client, Monique, is sharing her Healing Turning Point story…
As I find my own voice and evolve my brand, I have also been trying to become more vulnerable. With myself and others.
I hope this helps give someone insight and helps you realize it can get better…
5 years ago I was finishing up my masters and working in corporate health.
Let me take you back:
I always had a yearning to start my own business but never felt good enough or worthy enough, so I continued working for this company, knowing the job no longer served me. I was not happy doing what I was doing in the environment that I was working in. The environment was stressful, people were always in fear of losing their job. Being there was a constant battle because I was unknowingly soaking up all of the energy and emotions of everyone (I am an empath and had no clue what was going on at this time).
I was listening to what people were telling me to do, encouraging me to do, and what “looked best on a resume”. I needed to be able to listen to and honor myself and what my body wanted, but I was so disconnected from and miserable in my own body I didn’t even know what that looked like. I believe this was because I didn’t know how to live for myself.
I didn’t know how to make decisions because I WANTED to, not because someone was encouraging me to.
What else contributed to my feeling of unworthiness? My poor relationship with my body. I always had a poor body image, I always felt disconnected from my body. I had been asthmatic for my entire life, depressed since high school, allergic to every season and most animals, and began breaking out in random bouts of eczema in high school. I developed bulimia in college and began bingeing and purging. My body was screaming at me but I didn’t know how to answer. So I continued, and eventually, I gained 25 lbs and developed severe anxiety around food, which emphasized the little to no value I felt for myself - in or out of relationships.
The unhappiness that I felt within me affected me deeply. No one else knew because I hid it from everyone… But I knew and it was causing me to make myself sick.
I started calling off work because I would wake up with headaches from purging the night before, I couldn’t fathom the idea of getting dressed in my work clothes, and I didn’t want to put on a fake smile and pretend to be a happy and healthy Wellness Coach when I was dying inside.
Picture this: 24 years old, working a job that you know you don’t want to be at anymore, hating what you see when you look in the mirror, depressed each day, and convinced that you’re doomed for the rest of your life if you don’t make a change. That’s where I was.
Luckily, I had just been introduced to personal development and started understanding positive thinking and other similar concepts. I began to experiment with my diet. I learned about an elimination diet from a popular doctor I followed at the time. I downloaded the booklet and followed it to a T for two weeks. I discovered that I had a dairy and wheat sensitivity. I decided to cut those out for good.
But I was still depressed and full-on bulimic. I thought to myself, “It’s more than diet, I can’t just focus on my physical health.” So I put it out into the Universe - even though I wasn’t religious and just started exploring my spirituality - that I needed help.
I remember sitting in my apartment, just throwing my hands in the air asking, “OK I need something, can you help me?!” I refused to try conventional treatment because I always had a firm belief that the body could heal itself.
I knew this was my turning point - asking for help from something that I knew, knew more than me.
Sometime after I proclaimed that I needed help, I remember tuning into a new favorite podcast. I had just begun listening to this podcast weeks prior. I opened my app and scrolled through a couple of episodes when I saw one that involved an Emotional Healer. “Ok, this sounds interesting”, I thought.
Little did I know that this would change my f*cking life.
Elicia was speaking to my soul in this podcast. She began discussing her own healing journey and summed up the podcast with an invitation to her emotional healing retreat in Costa Rica. I had NO IDEA what it was, but listening to Elicia spoke to me. So I signed up and, holy shit, my life was changed forever!
Elicia helped me learn things about myself and my past I never knew - I never even thought of - and all of these emotional wounds were literally at the core of my destructive behaviors.
In just 7.5 days my life flipped. I made a commitment on that trip to make decisions for me and me only. I came back, quit my job, and started an online course to become a Health Coach.
I continued my own healing process with Elicia and was also introduced to Reiki during this time. Something just pulled me to it, so I committed to learning the energy.
Within two months I was down almost 15 lbs without dieting. I began listening to my body and asking it what it needed. I began intuitively eating, learning that as I restricted myself from certain foods, it would create more anxiety in my head.
Within two months… my eczema was extremely reduced, only flaring when I had eaten something that irritated my gut. My bulimia was extremely reduced and thanks to the above, is now completely gone. The anxiety I experienced around food was going down and I could finally eat out without freaking out. My self-worth and self-value were going up and I was able to dramatically reduce contact with people that no longer served me.
I began looking in the mirror and seeing the beauty in me. I began wearing clothes that made me feel pretty and feminine. My connection to my body was increasing and I was finding my way into my purpose, my soul’s work - helping others heal.
All because I made a commitment to do things for me, no one else.
I can’t say it’s been easy… There have been so many naysayers along my journey, friends from my past don’t show a ton of support for me because they don’t understand what I’m doing, and people are always doubting (I even find myself doubting from time to time).
But today I have NO:
- Anxiety around food (HUGE)
- AND I’m 25 lbs down, too!
Do I still have not so good days? Of course! But I learned in my process that healing is an inside job.
Healing can only be done if you commit to it! One of the most important things I’ve learned thus far in my journey is that physical healing is ONLY A PIECE OF THE PUZZLE.
You must address the emotions underneath the behaviors, triggers, illnesses, etc.
Three years ago I had no clue what emotional healing or energy healing was. And here I am today preaching its benefits. We are energetic! When you don’t address the emotional cause of an issue, it will never fully heal. When you address all facets of healing - THE BODY WILL HEAL! And beautifully at that.
I just want you to know that if you set your mind to something it will happen. It has to, as long as you’re doing it for you.
So just know…. there is hope. Someone is always listening. And you got this.
If you’re still reading, thank you. I love you.
Holistic Health Coach, Reiki Practitioner, Bakeologist, and Educator
If you've been struggling and would like to experience your own healing turning point, I have a free gift for you…
Empowered Healing: Discover your truth and confidently guide your own healing!
Until you have addressed the root cause of the symptoms that are holding you back, you will not be free to step into your authentic self: inspired, creative, loving, and powerful.
Let this be your healing turning point…
Lots of love!