Healing Turning Points: Codependency and Yeast Infections
This is the 8th installment in my series, Healing Turning Points: Transforming Pain into Self-Love. The purpose of this series is to show you that you are not alone, that others have experienced the same pains you have, and that there is a path to healing.
You can catch up with all installments of the Healing Turning Points series below:
Healing our emotional wounds is a journey that is unique for each person and full of twists and turns, as well as surprising realizations.
While we can be mostly healed from our past, our growth continues and as we grow, different aspects of ourselves are brought to light. This can bring up new aspects of early wounds. This is just a natural part of the healing process.
But one thing that is true for me, and has been for all the people I’ve helped, is that you never forget that point - the point in your life when you finally said, “ENOUGH!”
I call this the “Healing Turning Point”.
We get to our Healing Turning Point in our own time, some people suffer longer than others before deciding to seek the help they need, but eventually, we all experience that moment when we know something has to change.
Today, my client, Ellie, is sharing her Healing Turning Point story…
I first found Elicia, like many do, through searching online for “emotional cause of candida”. Lots of reading on her website later, I felt mostly relieved that there was an approach out there that could help me get to the bottom of the yeast infections.
I’d been experiencing yeast infections for several months and no one could help me get to the bottom of them or give me any answers. I knew I didn’t want to take the usual over the counter solutions, I tried homeopathy and went to see Ayurvedic doctors who told me to cut out most of the foods I enjoy most in life. I couldn’t do it.
I didn’t want to restrict myself, I just wanted to enjoy my life.
I started joining Elicia’s workshops (what she now offers in her Core Emotional Healing Self Study program) and started to learn more about the role of our inner child in healing, and how there’s far more symptoms. I grasped the mental structure of the work, but over time I built up resistance and became frustrated that nothing was changing.
The truth is, I was still afraid to actually do the work.
And the more I watched, the more symptoms beyond the yeast infections I realized I had: emotional spending, emotional eating, manifesting lack, financial struggles, not being seen, constantly feeling tired, caring about others’ needs before my own, including my partner’s, and being stuck in a cycle of arguing within my relationship… all signs of my wounded inner child that needed care and love.
It wasn’t until I joined Elicia’s Facebook Support Group that I started to understand that my perfectionism and codependency were impacting my healing work, too.
I was looking for someone else to tell me exactly what to do and hand me the magic formula. I’d been holding myself up to perfectionistic standards, afraid to do any of the work in case I got it wrong, and feeling angry that no one was telling me exactly what to do.
I also learned that perfectionism was another mask and protection, which was stopping me from working on releasing the stored anger from my childhood - the same anger which was contributing to my general resentment, tiredness, and irritability within myself (including the yeast infections).
Throughout the whole process, Elicia was patient, kind,
She listened to and supported me, without pushing me in a particular direction. She held the space for my healing to unfold. Through her constant encouragement, I finally understood I had to just get angry and let the anger come out. It was finally time to bash some pillows!
But my ego still wanted to put up resistance.
I worried about being heard while being angry and what the right way to express the anger would be. Finally, as I re-watched Elicia’s emotional triggers lesson, the anger burst through my throat and I finally started to scream into a pillow as I never have before.
The anger and memories from my childhood that I’d been ignoring came flooding back. I’d never allowed myself to see the dysfunction in my family - I come from a very “normal”, middle class family, my parents are still together, and I didn’t “want” for anything (that I knew of) so it never occurred to me to look to my childhood for answers.
As the time wore on I remembered my toddler self standing at the top of the stairs, calling out for my Mum to come and cuddle me, but no one came.
I remembered the time my Dad would pinch my hand to stop me trying to hold my Mum’s hand all the time. The time my Dad caught me in bed with my boyfriend as a teenager and called me a slut, and plenty more.
I felt so guilty expressing my pain, I used to think: others have had it so much worse than me.
It took me going back to those moments and allowing my inner child to actually feel the pain and anger for things to change.
I’m still going through that process of hearing and feeling what happened, and I am sure there is much more to learn.
I continue to heal. I am so grateful for the work of Elicia and the support of others in her program, without whom I couldn’t have done this work.
I have learned to make myself a priority and to stop pushing myself - I was hiding behind pushing myself with my business, but I can now be loving to myself even if I haven’t got everything done on my to do list, or if my day went another way from what I had planned.
Above all, Elicia has helped me to understand that I am exactly where I need to be. And that is such a relief!
My symptoms have dramatically improved, I still get flare ups from time to time but then I know I need to reconnect with my inner child, read up about what my symptoms are telling me, and spend some time to understand what I need to address.
It wouldn't be an overstatement to say that working with Elicia has transformed my life.
Core Emotional Healing is not a "quick fix", it's something that will change you to the core, for the better.
Elicia's work is revolutionary for this reason: So few "solutions" we are offered today get to the actual root of the problem, but Core Emotional Healing does.
I have accepted and embraced that healing is a journey we are on throughout our lives, rather than one lightning bolt moment that magically fixes us.
I am now learning to set clear boundaries in my life, my romantic relationship is improving week by week, and I can act towards myself and others from a place of strength and love. I feel for the first time ever, that I am actually becoming who I really want to be.
This is only possible thanks to the love, guidance, endless patience and support of Elicia who has been there for me throughout the healing journey, never judging.
If you're wondering if this work is for you, know that you've come here for a reason, and you are meant to read this.