Fear is Our Companion for Growth
How the Core Emotional Healing process unfolds over time
I want to share with you a personal story about my personal and professional growth this year and the excuses that had come up—and how I really believed them—and how they were actually coming from my core emotional wounds, which made me (almost) give my power away and choose to stay small.
I’m also going to share some lessons I learned about moving towards my fear, having trust and faith, and asking for support in the right ways. When I get the right support, I am able to grow, be more in my power and receive even more blessings.
Resistance is a sign!
My most recent growth has been around writing my book “Your Symptoms Are A Gift!”. I knew the book was going to be birthed this year. At first, I wanted my husband Doug - the one with the PhD - to write it, and so did he, but the purpose of the book wasn’t clear.
I was then invited to be on a radio show called “The Manifesting Hour” and I had to pick one specific thing to manifest. There were many things that seemed reachable that I could have chosen. Instead of those, I picked my book, since it was the only thing I felt resistance and fear/doubt around.
Lesson: What you are most afraid of is actually what your soul wants for you -- for your growth, expansion and expression.
Then I connected to a trigger with my family around not listening to me and dismissing what I had to say. Because of this, I came to believe--deeply in my subconscious--that what I had to say was not important, or even that it was wrong at times. This is why I told myself I wasn’t a good writer and I needed someone else to do it for me. I realized that I was getting triggered, especially by women who didn’t really “see” me. I connected it to my mom dismissing what was important to me. Once I processed the trigger, with Janet Raftis' insights and healing during a remote session, and then on my own with a lot of anger releasing, I was able to see my value more clearly. After that my writing came more easily, and my messages were more aligned than ever.
Lesson: We give away our power when we hold subconscious beliefs that we aren’t good enough.
Even though I was ready to write, I ended up sitting on the idea for a couple of months. I connected to Jocelyn Robinson for an Intuitive Business Strategy reading to gain clarity around the timeline for my book and which projects to focus on throughout the year. She confirmed that my book would be written this year, and that it was my priority, along with the other areas I should focus on to grow my business.
I was still feeling blocked with writing, so I hired a writing coach, and she helped me gain even more clarity around the purpose and chapter outline of my book.
Lesson: If you feel stuck, get support from an intuitive and an expert.
Around that time I met up with Jen Mazer, The Queen of Manifestation, in Atlanta. In the beginning of the year, Jen helped me connect to the book idea during a visioning session she did with Doug and me during a VIP business coaching session.
During the VIP day, I set my intention to work with Jen privately in her Queendom Mastermind program. And I set the intention again with Janet Raftis during our last Sacred Emotion Retreat in Costa Rica.
Jen announced that she was offering a 6-month Queendom Mastermind program starting July 1st. Even though I knew I wanted to work with her and had set the intention (twice) to work with her, I started to believe the excuses that came up:
- “I’m not ready.”
- “It’s not the right time.”
- “I don’t have the money.”
- “I don’t want to stretch myself too thin or get in a tight spot with money.”
- “Everything is working/ okay right now.”
- "I don’t need a coach; I know what’s best for me.”
- "I am focused on writing my book, so why would I need a coach to help me write it?”
Yes, I said all of these excuses to my husband, Doug, and even to Janet, who I set the intention with and who already joined the Mastermind. Then I said it all again to Jen during a phone call.
Because I didn’t know what I needed, I asked for a sign. Right after I asked for the sign, Jen brought up my Core Emotional Healing Certification program and how it would be a good fit for therapists who wanted to go deeper. YES! Light bulb moment! Of course, that’s exactly what I needed her help with, and so much more.
I joined Jen’s Mastermind, not because I had the money (it was twice as much as I paid for my last business coach--and twice the value too), but because I simply knew what I needed. I needed Jen to help me. I couldn’t do it without her support. I trusted her and I trusted that the money would come, as long as I believed in myself.
Lesson: Excuses are the things we tell ourselves to stay small, “safe” and not grow.
As soon as I had my first visioning and strategy session with Jen, I started to realize how much I needed her support and how much she has already helped me with! I was not aware of how much support I needed until after I made the decision to work with Jen.
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." -MLK Jr
Lesson: It’s hard to see what we don’t know; that’s why we need support.
I started to create my affiliate program for three of my programs, and I was going to first roll it out to people I knew. Instead of investing in affiliate software and implementing a program that is managed by a virtual assistant like I originally wanted, I said again “I am not ready” and “I don’t want to spend the money”. Jen suggested a program I hadn’t heard of before that was more affordable, and helped me to see it’s better to step into this now in the same way I want it to be presented in the future--more professional and automated.
I reached out to Jen’s virtual assistant, Rachel, to talk about the affiliate options, and she presented an even better solution that would help other areas of my business, too. Once I said yes to her implementing it all for me, out of the blue people started contacting me and asking me if I had an affiliate program!
Lesson: Whatever you say yes to, the Universe will provide.
We had our first Queendom retreat in NYC last weekend. On the first day we all went around and said what had been pulling on our heart and I proclaimed “I have to write my book!” That same day Bethanie Nonami, who has helped me with my online presence, sent me an article on how to optimize my Amazon Author page, since I already had one for the other books I coauthored. Jen also announced that she had a surprise for us for the next day. The surprise was that she invited her literary agent to come in to talk to us about how to get a book deal!
Lesson: Setting intentions brings you the right support and resources to make it happen.
I also ended up hiring Rachel, who was setting up my affiliate program, that weekend to be my full-time virtual assistant--Business Manager + Customer Care Specialist--even before I knew where the money was coming from to pay her. After all of those recent experiences, I trusted myself and that I would be supported. The day after I made the decision, I got the insight I needed from my Mastermind group into what I needed, which changed how I was doing business and seeing myself.
Now, I feel like I can finally relax. I trust that I am fully supported by Jen and Rachel. This actually completed the process of healing from my childhood wound of not being seen and supported the way I needed. I even had a dream this week that confirmed why I doubted myself and felt confused. When I think about how Jen sees and supports me, I cry. I know this is the same type of support I give to my clients; I just needed someone to be like me, for me. I see myself even more clearly now, am asking for what I need from others, and am receiving it.
Every decision and risk I took has strengthened my faith and trust--and my belief that I am supported--even more, and I’ve been showered with blessings!
Lesson: With courage, faith and the right support, things can shift quickly and you will get what you need.
All the support and resources are there for you; you just need to move towards what makes you nervous and excited. Say YES to your heart’s desires and your soul’s expression!
This process is much easier once you do the initial core emotional healing needed to clear your limiting beliefs and be what you’ve always needed--so you learn how to listen to how you feel and ask for what you want.
Take Katie for example, she was able to move past her blocks to get exactly what she wanted through the inner child work and my guidance.
“The most surprising and effective part of this program for me has been the inner child work and some of the deeper digging into parts of my past to look at emotional triggers.This was something I would’ve never in a million years thought to connect to my healing process. And working with Elicia has been so great because she has a way of providing a quiet and constant energy that gives you space to unfold things, and also reframing snippets of what you share as questions or food for thought that allow you to see things about yourself in a completely new light. It’s helped me understand myself better and highlight the areas I really need to focus on.
I was looking for a new job and getting very frustrated and about ready to give up after getting no responses to cold calls/emails for positions I was overqualified for, and Elicia encouraged me to write out what I was looking for and reach out to people in my network about it. Of course once I did this, I had infinitely more success and now have a job doing exactly what I was looking for! I have taken this advice into other areas too and feel like it’s helped me tune in to be more honest with others, and myself and honor how I’m feeling or what I want/need in the moment.” - Katie
Click here to read more about Katie’s healing from Candida, Eczema and Perfectionism.
I am here supporting you and cheering you on!
Lots of love,
I have been searching for some kind of "answer" my whole life.
I have been searching for some kind of "answer" my whole life.
The most significant improvement was to be able to recognize a trigger (still working on that), journaling about it and knowing that EVERYTHING has a cause.
I realized that it is those rock-bottom moments that we all need in order to get up again. It's like keeping dust and trash under a rug, it can hold so much. But at some point, all that trash will come out, we had no clue it was still there, and then we have to face it. Working with Elicia allowed me to "clean the rug" before it totally exploded, it was wonderful.
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