Emotional Healing in a Loving, Supportive Environment
Inner child work has helped me realize that we have so many different TYPES of needs (as children AND adults)!
For me personally, I’ve always struggled with perfectionism, and because I grew up in a very loving and supportive environment, it made me feel almost like it was my own fault for having any issues or guilty that all my needs were not met.
It wasn’t until doing this work that I realized even the best-intentioned actions like showering a child with praise/excessively rewarding accomplishments can have its drawbacks, as that’s something that set a standard for me when I was very young (in terms of my desire to please others, pressure to be perfect, etc).
But I’ve found it’s not about blaming my past (or people in it) and more about being a detective so I can identify where the behavior came from and understand what I needed instead in order to give that to myself today.
Inner child work and learning to reparent myself by doing things like encouraging little me to be raw and real and just ME (without worrying about getting a “gold star”) has been SO important for me.
It’s also opened my eyes to exploring all possible causes and triggers for different feelings and actions... not just the obvious relationships, but I’ve really been able to find some answers in places I had never thought of before or wouldn’t think to look because this work is set up to really frame things in a new light.
Like everyone, I’m still very much in process, but I’m finding I have a more relaxed and trusting attitude toward the world that things will work out – I’m putting much less pressure on myself to be perfect and I’m not as hard on myself when I do make mistakes.
Working with Elicia in Group Sessions :
The group sessions really helped me practice being honest with myself with/around others. And I think that's something you don't really think about - a lot of our focus is on realizing triggers and setting boundaries with people in our lives, so it's nice to be able to discuss these boundaries/triggers in front of others before putting them into practice in our relationships.
It's also really cool to witness others in the group have their own aha moments, and check in with if/how Elicia's advice to them might be applied to our own situations. There's also something to be said for how nice it is to have the support of a group of people who understand the struggle and what's going on with you.. and to be present for them in their journey as they're present for you.
It's powerful to hear others' pain, struggles, triumphs, feelings, etc and it's ok to be vulnerable in that safe space.
Working with Elicia in Private Sessions :
I remember what Elicia said before we started working together - that the clients who work with her one on one really get the most out of it, and I think that's very true even though I probably didn't want that to be the case at the time. The one on one sessions are obviously nice because of the personal attention, but they really give you space to allow what you need to unfold. I think before each session I would wonder, "what are we going to talk about for a whole hour?!" because often it didn't seem like much had happened since the last time we spoke, but there always managed to be plenty to discuss!
Having that whole hour is really magical because there's nowhere to hide.
It forces you to go beyond the "catching up" of things that happened in your week to really digging in to some of the deeper stuff that you could easily just skirt around or cover up in a shorter session. And then on top of that, you have the wisdom and support of Elicia as a personal cheerleader!
So as a client you get more of the tools and, in a way, get to practice with them more by doing one on one sessions. Plus, bravery points for making yourself deal with your shit! It goes back to what I was saying before about the practice of being honest with yourself - it's another (bigger) chance to do that!