Emotional Healing & Codependency
Last week I was faced with some things that really made me practice what I preach.
After spending a week with family, we returned home needing to decompress. The first day back, a Private Investigator visited us at our home and served me a subpoena to testify against my ex-husband. Talking to the PI briefly about what happened 13 years ago brought up fear and trauma.
That night, I slept a lot as I was processing and I took the next day off from work to take care of myself. The following day, Doug and I had an all day private healing immersion with a client.
As I was processing my own trauma and our client’s trauma, I was witnessing confusion and self-doubt, and at the same time, I was feeling more confident in my work than ever before. I found myself holding these dichotomous feelings until my self-doubt subsided.
At this point in my practice and awareness of my emotional state, I know when I am working through things and what I need. Fortunately, I also am married to a very intuitive Psychologist (my husband Doug), with whom I can share anything, which helps me gain clarity.
You may spend many years healing your inner child and building up your self-esteem, and when old patterns and feelings creep up, you may think to yourself...
“Shouldn’t I be over this by now? Shouldn’t I have “fixed” these issues by now?”
When we embark on the emotional healing journey, we often mistakenly think that there is an endpoint or a finish line that we are working towards - and once we get there, everything will be “fixed”. Unfortunately, that’s just not how it works.
Caring for your inner child and your emotions, listening to your triggers and symptoms, and allowing your fear and self-doubt… These are not only vital steps along your journey, but ongoing practices.
I’m fortunate because my toolkit is second nature now and I quickly processed the old feelings that came up for me last week.
This week, I’m really excited to be on my way to Fire Creek Mountain in North Carolina for Janet Raftis’ Energy Explorer Retreat. Since I started my business, the only retreats I’ve attended were retreats I was leading. There have been plenty of retreats that I would have loved to join, but I would end up prioritizing my clients, work and family. As a recovering codependent, I still have to catch myself when I don’t put myself first!
Codependent people don’t take care of themselves first, instead they find that there is always someone else that needs their time, attention and love - and end up not getting the support they need.
Does that sound familiar?
- Are there things you’ve been wanting to do, but you’ve pushed them off because something or someone else needs your attention?
- Do you have a hard time saying no to others (or yes to you), and feel guilty when you finally do?
- Do you rely on other people’s input instead of your own intuition?
- Do you derive your self-worth from the size of your paycheck or the number on the scale?
When you are more concerned with how other people feel than how you feel, and you aren’t able to set healthy boundaries, you end up not feeling loved, valued, safe, and supported.
And you aren’t being your true self!
In my online workshop, Take Care of Yourself: Codependency & Boundaries, I discuss the core of the codependent pattern, how it affects all areas of your life, and the tools I’ve used to address the root cause of my codependency. This has allowed me to set healthy boundaries without feeling guilty!
Click here to learn more and register now.
Putting your needs first is not being selfish, it’s practicing self love!
“From Elicia's online workshop, I learned that I have to get to the root of my issues and that this is a journey, there's time to learn and I don't have to feel like a failure because what I tried in the past didn't work. I realized that I haven't failed, I just haven't addressed it yet.
Elicia addresses a component that is missing in so many people. We know we have the physical pains/symptoms, and we know we have the emotional/mental pains and symptoms. This workshop starts the process of joining the two together, into a holistic approach to healing and growing.” -Jody
Lots of love!