This is the fourth of a 4-part series called, Clear Your Blocks to Healing.
The purpose of this series is to help you find the blocks and limiting patterns that are standing in the way of your progress. The exercises will also stop the unnecessary suffering caused by discouraging beliefs.
Staying committed to healing and realizing who you are and what you truly want isn’t easy. There will be times when you question whether you are actually making progress. And if you don’t see progress, you’ll doubt if you are on the right track.
You might even start to wonder if all of this is a waste of time.
The fact is, everyone who is dedicated to working on themselves, you will experience blocks at different points in your healing journey.
As you heal, each step brings you closer to your true self – and it can also reveal blocks and limiting patterns that were put in place to protect you.
This is actually a good sign! It shows that you are making real progress, and your awareness means the block is ready to be cleared!
You may do some great healing work, take a necessary and important step, and believe you have healed an issue completely. But some time later, you may find yourself re-experiencing the issue, feel like a failure, or become hopeless. Both the belief that “I am done” and “I am a failure” add unnecessary suffering to your healing process.
Understanding that healing includes times of apparent setbacks, and knowing how to handle them, lets you enjoy your progress with realistic expectations about the process.
This 4-part series will provide you with journaling exercises to help you find the blocks and limiting patterns that are standing in the way of your progress. The exercises will also stop the unnecessary suffering caused by discouraging beliefs.
These are actual blocks I’ve seen and heard from most clients as they go through the Core Emotional Healing process. While they appear as resistance to the work as it is occuring in the moment, some are also a part of long-term patterns or wounds, and clearing them can require deeper healing.
For example, the belief, “I can’t do this,” may rest in deeper feelings of disempowerment, shame, or feeling undeserving that came from early family conditioning.
So, while I include specific suggestions on how to move through your blocks so you feel supported and empowered, there are also “Deeper Exercises,” that you can try on your own. If you remain stuck, you may need additional support and guidance to heal on a deeper level, which can be found in the additional programs my husband, Doug Miller, PhD, and I offer.
I recommend that you use a dedicated journal to work through all of the exercises. You can come back to them over and over again whenever you need to and reference what you’ve done to celebrate your progress.
One of the lowest points in my life was when I got accidentally pregnant at age 38 with a man I thought I was in love with who was an unavailable, selfish, liar.
I actually broke it off with him the weekend before I found out I was pregnant. A week later, after missing my period and feeling my tender breasts, I took a test and sent him the result. Even though I didn’t want to have children up until that point, I felt the love inside me and wanted to keep the baby. The man was angry and mean to me.
I was alone in that decision, and in my life at that point. Before I met him, I stayed single for 7 years to heal myself from my abusive, narcissist ex husband and my childhood traumas and patterns, and to stay focused on creating my business.
Right when I found out I was pregnant, I was launching my new business after traveling the world for 3 years as a detox, healing, and candida consultant. Once I was pregnant I couldn’t do much, my head was foggy, I didn’t have a car or the energy to walk to the grocery store.
Everything came crashing down, I couldn’t pay my rent and I didn’t know what to do. An old friend heard about my situation and offered for me to live with her and her partner and their 3 year old daughter to be their nanny.
Shortly after I moved in, I found out I lost my baby at week 8. The same man who got me pregnant came in to sweep me off my feet and be “my savor”, telling me he wanted to be with me, have a baby with me, and do it right this time.
As usual, it didn’t last that long and he ended up cutting it off right before my birthday leaving me cash and a note in my mailbox to take myself to the spa and a meal, which we had planned to do together.
After losing my baby, and my hope with that man, I went into a deep depression for a month. I contacted an intuitive, freaking out because I HAD TO KNOW if we would be together, if we would have a baby together, and what I was going to do to make money and get out of living in a household that reminded me of my childhood.
She told me something I would never forget, “You just have to have Fuck It Faith”. Which meant it didn’t matter what was happening or what I wanted to happen NOW or in the future, I had to have faith everything was going to work out for me.
I had to let go of wanting him, wondering about him, wanting a baby, wondering about a baby, I had to let it all go and have faith.
In hindsight, what I thought I wanted and what I was gripping to have, would have caused me years of suffering. There is a higher plan, and I learned to surrender to not knowing and staying present with Fuck It Faith.
That put me back into being responsible for my happiness and taking care of myself. I went to my room and asked myself in my journal, “What brings me joy?” and I automatically wrote “Teaching journaling”. This brought me back to how I began my business 4 years prior, teaching journaling workshops, which was the happiest I had been in my work life and led me to creating the Core Emotional Healing Process.
So I decided to offer journaling workshops again, and I didn’t do it to make a lot of money, just to reconnect to my heart again. My heart was then open and expansive and opportunities came flowing to me, almost effortlessly. I created more workshops and private programs for clients.
Victimhood and Fear
I am complaining and stuck in victimhood, feeling “poor me”, “if only” (passive victim of circumstance is the root cause of Candida and other conditions):
- Accept where you are.
- Take action to resolve it instead of wallowing in it.
- Journal and answer these questions:
- How do I feel?
- What do I need right now?
- What do I need to do?
- Note what belief system you are operating from – is it grounded in trust or fear and worry? Your (in)actions and behaviors are reinforcing your beliefs. From above:
- I am in sync with and supported by (Life, God, The Universe, Spirit…)
- Faith + Action = Grace.
I am afraid it won’t work or I am afraid of change and being fully healed, remember that:
- It will only work if you do the work.
- When you heal, you will have less fear.
- You are here to grow.
- Healing is an adventure into the unknown.
- There will be set-backs; keep going and have faith.
I am asking myself, “Why is this happening (again)?”:
- Journal and answer these questions:
- What is the lesson here for me?
- What can I learn?
- What can I do about it?