How To Be Responsible For
How You Feel
Your triggers are a gift!
Do you find yourself bitching and complaining a lot about the same people?
If certain people continue to trigger you, instead of avoiding them or blaming them for how you feel, turn within and explore what may be unresolved within you. You may have heard someone, or me, talking about “processing your trigger,” which means going back to the source of it. There most likely was a similar dynamic in your past as your current trigger and now you have the opportunity to process your repressed emotions and expression around it.
After doing this, it’s much easier for you to ask the person who triggered you for what you need. They will most likely respond to you differently after you have processed your past hurt because you won’t be coming from a hurt place. You will also feel stronger and clearer to speak your truth and remove yourself from interacting with toxic people. In addition, after processing your trigger, your belief will change and other people will reflect and affirm your new belief.
Most of our triggers stem from our needs not being met as children. This is why parents can be the most triggering.
If your parents still aren’t hearing you or supporting you, it’s up to you to:
First ask them to hear you, stop telling you what to do, etc., and if they still don’t then,
Distance yourself from them while you give yourself what you need.
Process your hurt (more on how to do that below) from when they didn’t listen to or support you when you were a child.
Then ask them again.
If they still don’t, then you can let go of expecting things to be different (acceptance).
As an adult, it's not up to your parents to give you what you needed from them and didn't get.
If they didn’t care about how you felt, it’s up to you to start caring about how you felt.
If they made you wrong and shamed you, it’s up to you to express your anger about it by yourself and reparent yourself with a new loving, nurturing, and empowering voice.
If you gave up your emotional needs for theirs, it’s up to you to break that self-destructive pattern and listen to how you feel, to say no when you don’t want to do something, or speak up for how you feel even if it may hurt someone else’s feelings. From the book Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin, by Anna Katherine, “When you identify the need to set a boundary, do it clearly, calmly, firmly, respectfully, and in as few words as possible. Do not get angry, or apologize for the boundary you are setting."
These processes are hard and nearly impossible to do without learning how to love yourself and all your emotions unconditionally. If the only way you felt loved and valued was to be there for other people and to make sure they felt okay, then trying to stand up for your feelings now will feel scary. When your self-worth is based on what other people think, the threat of not being loved can feel like a choice between life or death.
If you are already learning how to love yourself and set boundaries, and you are still noticing patterns in relationships, repeated emotional triggers and reactions in your body, you will need to go deeper with your healing. There are more repressed emotions waiting for you to acknowledge what you needed and how you feel about not getting it. This requires support from healers. One powerful and effective combination is a session with Janet for her insights and healing into your unconscious and a session with me for my insights and assistance working with your inner child, core beliefs and patterns, defenses, triggers, and resistance.
Even after my clients go through my initial core emotional healing program Express What's Repressed, and go on to my Level 2 group program, they still need me to encourage, clarify, and support them as they navigate through the difficult emotions and help them to see the truth of what is happening and what is needed. You can’t see it when you are in it. You’ve avoided going there your whole life out of fear of your own pain. You also believe the story that you created about yourself, life, and love based on your past experiences. So you need a competent guide.
Even after doing this type of work for 12 years, I personally experienced so much healing and growth within my immediate family this week that resulted from guiding myself through my own process. Through a trigger, I uncovered that I was still operating out of an unconscious belief that what I said wasn’t important. This was based on how my parents didn’t listen to me as a child. After I did my own emotional work around that, things started to shift drastically in my life around my work and family. People who were typically in resistance to what I do, including my Mom, brother and friends, started to ask me more about it, listen to what I had to say, and see the value of my work. I also noticed a shift in my confidence when speaking and writing about my work.
Being responsible for how you feel and doing your own core emotional healing work really does shift things quickly in all areas of your life: your relationships, health, work, money, and, most of all, your inner peace.
Learn how to heal a part of you that is still looking for someone to take care of you, to hear you, to protect you, to care about how you feel, to value you, and to love you unconditionally.
Get started now with a Private 60-Minute Session or an Initial Inner Child & Core Emotional Healing Session.
Not sure what’s best for you? CLICK HERE to set up a free 30 minute assessment.
Your symptoms are a gift! ®
Your symptoms are showing you what's in your unconscious and needs to be addressed. Your body is always talking and is the only thing that doesn't lie! Are you listening?
Learn more about my Core Emotional Healing Programs & Retreat by watching my free webinar HERE
Your unexpressed emotional responses from your childhood are internalized and held in your body resulting in various physical illnesses.
As a result of interactions in your childhood in which you did not receive what you needed or were mistreated, you internalized emotions such as grief, sadness and anger that are held in your body. Other layers of emotion such as hopelessness and despair maintain negative patterns in your life. The chronic nature of these unexpressed emotions result in physical symptoms.
By understanding and appropriately interpreting the physical conditions, the original emotions can be addressed and expressed. In other words, your physical symptoms are a gift that you can refer to and that can help you heal the emotional wounds of your childhood. As this occurs, your physical symptoms can also be healed.
I have been searching for some kind of "answer" my whole life.
I have been searching for some kind of "answer" my whole life.
The most significant improvement was to be able to recognize a trigger (still working on that), journaling about it and knowing that EVERYTHING has a cause.
I realized that it is those rock-bottom moments that we all need in order to get up again. It's like keeping dust and trash under a rug, it can hold so much. But at some point, all that trash will come out, we had no clue it was still there, and then we have to face it. Working with Elicia allowed me to "clean the rug" before it totally exploded, it was wonderful.
Read more reviews HERE
Give yourself the best gift you could give. Learn how to safely process your emotions and embrace who you really are!
Join me in a safe space with other women, where you are honored for who you are, where your experience and feelings are validated and where you are loved unconditionally.
Sharing in a safe group where you are seen, heard and supported heals shame. You will learn how to heal your pain with compassion, re-parent your inner child and embody your authentic self. You are now safe to feel and be who you really are.